Weed Dreams and Beer Nightmares
When the stars align just right, when the liquor’s in your system and you add good smoke to the equation, shit’s like walking on a cloud. But every so often, I have really bizarre, forward-thinking dreams. As a disclaimer, if any being or corporation comes out with these ideas, I’m suing off the rip. Only because I’m too lazy and not exactly artistically savvy.
Case in point, I went out last night for drinks with co-workers and came home to some potent, stanking ass bud. The dream that ensued after that was dope, but the ideas would cost Apple millions of dollar. The idea? Regenerative glass OR crack-proof glass. How many folks go out and do dumb shit, like drop their phone at the most inopportune times, or meatheads that insist on scrapping after the club with a phone in their pocket? If you have any reasonable smartphone, you know gottdamn well that the screens are as frail as any dude that’s ever left a crying voicemail on an ex’s phone. When that $400 texting/Facebooking machine falls towards the floor, life slows down. Before your eyes are broken dreams, skewed morality, broken screens, realizing mortality. On top of that, it’s basically fucking useless after that point. Can’t read texts, stalk and creep on Facebook/Twitter, can’t upload to Instagram. You’re basically devoid of any real communication for purpose. Sucks.
Now, realistically, if for an extra $150, would you pay to buy a phone that was essentially unbreakable? I’m talking the type of phone you could launch off a wall, only to retrieve it in pristine condition. Fucking right you would, sucker. I have implausibly good luck with phones – never lost one, never broke one, never Drew Brees’ed one downfield 60 yards, nothing. More than that, I like my phones like Ienjoy my ladyfolk – bare, shining, and reactive to my touch within a second. I don’t need a case. For what? So I can treat it like Nextels from 2002 and punt it, fall on it, lose it anywhere? Fuckouttahere with that. iPhones are far sexier in its natural state – fully undressed.
With that said, Apple must make a fucking killing off sloppy, clumsy owners. Cracked screens, worn down Home buttons, sensors that refuse to recognize your filthy fingers tryna open apps – all of which needa be sent back for refurbing at your cost. I’m not tryna pay $200 to get a refurbed phone back, b. Might as well just buy the shit brand new again. Apple’s eating off those that have no real business having nice things. But if there was ever a way for them to implant a screen that could crack…and reseal itself? Game. Over. Now. Shit would be a huge loss initially for them in terms of restorations, but everyone and their mother would have one, thus increasing sales revenue from Day One. Like I said tho, this idea was brought to you by Bud and…bud. I don’t advocate the combination, but I don’t advise against it either. See what you come up with overnight and you’re welcome in advance.
Cam’ron – “F*ck You 2012″
I told the girl “get down on your knees, yo”, she said “Cam, I’m not Tebow” / Here weeee go / She said “Negro”, I said, “Leave, ho”, she said “Please nooo” / “Why you gotta be Deebo?”, “Cuz in my pants, girl, I got a big ego”…
Classic Cam ignorance. Fuck with it or FUCK YOU.
Wet Blankets (Not the Sexy Kind)
Please: If the time ever comes that I’m so completely miserable with my own self that I attempt to drag down those around me, lemme know. I’d gladly Linda Lovelace a .45 to apologize for my actions.
Every group of people has that one clinger-on; the one that always has some absurdly dramatic (never REALLY needs to be), outta nowhere bullshit that they’ll inevitably project, in an attempt to weigh down those in their circle to their own level of misery. Doesn’t necessarily mean that person, who I’ll refer to less affectionately as the Soul Sucker, is all bad. Just means they really needa look into a therapy session, a combo of Prozac and weed, and a spot of solitude for them to work on better themselves.
I get it, you’re reading this and saying, “Ant’s really on some shit today” or “What an asshole, who the fuck…” – lemme stop you there. If you can’t pinpoint ONE person that you’ve known that will darken the best day out with tales of woe, desperation and fuckery, guess what – YOU’RE THAT PERSON! Granted, these folks still are close to us for a reason, but their impenetrable fortress of gloom and despair is a drain on our own mental health.
Life’s a bitch. It’s a well-known fact, but it’s much more than that. People, by and large, are not the things that they have. People should be judged on the mark they leave on society, on their families, on their friends. Content and character say a lot about people, because you’re inexplicably judged on the snapshots of moments that others have when they see you. Example – you could be the purest, sweetest, most virginal girl on Earth, but if the one time I see you is at a bar, slurring/stumbling/slobbing and being generally obnoxious – BANG, there’s how I’ll perceive you to be. People have their bad moments and they’re forgiven once in a while. When every day is something negative, something ugly, something so completely self-centric…there’s a huge fucking issue, sweetheart, and it’s alllll you.
What can I say? If you have this tear-spouting, whiny, “Why meeee?” type that’s woven into the fabric of your group, you have a tough road ahead unless you tailor things, so to keep with the idea. You can either cut attempt to cover up the spot, but that club soda counseling session might only disturb things more. Stick with me – Accessorize. Add a little flash to the group to even things out, take some attention off your blemish. This can backfire as well, as more attention can be drawn to the entire situation. Maybe that’s not the best. Worst case scenario? The spot just won’t clean up, huh? Shit, maybe you just trash the shirt. Wasn’t the right fit anyways.
The ORIGINAL Murder, Inc.
Some may remember, but most won’t – before Ja Rule got his career crushed at the hands of Eminem, he was actually gangster as fuck and his flow was on point. Then he got weird, started singing and took the (potentially) historic Murder Inc. imprint and flipped it to “Murda, Inc.” Well, the original Murder Inc. was formed back in the late 90s. Comprised of heavyweight Jay-Z and the rookie hitters, Ja and DMX, Def Jam had developed what coulda been a mini-supergroup of MCs. No time for “what ifs”, just listen to some of their select work during their short run.
Jay-Z and Ja Rule – “Gangsta Shit”
;
Jay-Z, Ja Rule, and DMX – “Murdergram” [HARDBODY]
;
Ja Rule and DMX – “Gotti Style”
;
Money Isn’t Evil…
There’s been a long standing quote “money is the root of all evil”. Little did most of the population know it’s actually a misquoted Bible verse – “The love of money is the root of all evil” (1 Timothy 6:10, KJV), also stated as “For the love of money is the root of all sorts of evil” (New American Standard Bible). I don’t feel that money is the root alone, it’s more the quest and the greed that comes along with it. Money itself is a great motivator, but the evils that follow and envy that ensues is crippling to most.
Money doesn’t change people, but people’s mindsets change with an increased amount of money. Of course, it doesn’t have to be that way, but every day you hear stories of people who’ve made money and lost themselves in the whirlwind that is the ‘come-up’. Maintaining a certain level of self is crucial to pursuing your end goals and the wealth that often comes along with it. Money may change you to a point, but you can’t lose yourself or alienate those close to you in the quest for money.
The pursuit of happiness is a closely associated phrase that, when coupled with greed, is the number one cause for pushing those you consider as close friends away. We don’t live in a particularly socialist country, where assets are shared “equally” and you can see the difference in the classes more today. When people say “the rich stay rich and the poor stay poor”, it’s a very accurate portrayal of society today. You can hop in your car and drive thru the most poverty-stricken communities, seeing heart-wrenching visuals…and ten minutes up the street are affluent communities, $60k vehicles, monstrous homes, etc. The disparity between the two is just a few miles, but it’s like an entirely different world, but I digress.
Moral of the story: Regardless how much money you may make in the course of your life, you need to stay true to yourself, never alienate the people that stuck with you thru strife and will continue to stand by you into your triumphs and successes. Money can’t buy happiness, although the material goods that you buy may make you happy for short periods of time, love and respect last longer and stay stronger than your bank account and wallet can even hold.
____________________
Now, I wrote this a few years back and, to be honest, shit still rings true. People can absolutely pull the dirtiest, most vile, incomprehensible things on strangers, acquaintances, friends and family in the pursuit of a quick buck for whatever the case may be (usually drugs – very usually). Nine times outta ten, there’s an influence for it, other times, people are just hapless scumbags that thieve just for the fuck of it.
Some people are evil by nature – murderers, rapists, serial killers. Others are driven by money and the perceived happiness that it brings. Can you buy happiness? Abso-fucking-lutely. But it’s always something material that’ll drive it. New surroundings? Need cash to find a new spot. Fresh off the lot car? Loans, payments of a couple hundred a month. They say the best things in life are free. The other really dope and eyecatching, heartbeat-quickening, mouth-watering shit usually goes on plastic. Whether you live righteous or err on the side of aggressive, cutthroat shark is entirely up to you. Gotta choose wisely, because if you step on the wrong toes, you can wind up dead, broke, or both.
Summer Selections
Summer’s fast approaching, fellas. If you managed to stick to your gym schedule like you were supposed to, tank top season should be in full effect. If you didn’t hit the weights, I’m sure the sleeves of ink will help your cause anyways. Lemme give a glimpse into seasonal gear for dudes that don’t wear their heart on their sleeves…because there aren’t any.
Infamous Reign – “Fuckery Tank” (Black/Gold). $25. Available here. (Use rep code ANT10 at checkout for 10% off!)
Infamous Reign – “OG Nun Tank”. $25. Available here. (Use rep code ANT10 at checkout for 10% off!)
Obey – “Obey MFG. Propagandists Tank”. $23. Available here.
RVCA - “Big RVCA Tank”. $26. Available here.
Primitive – “Steez Tank”. $24. Available here.
-
Ant
snapnecklife
