I consider myself brutally honest. Others might consider me “obnoxious”, a “dickhead”, or “a piece of shit”. Well, at least that’s what Facebook friends would message me before hitting that Unfriend link and detaching themselves from one of the more entertaining folks they knew. That’s all well and good, but there’s a reason for my honesty – no one really wants to hear someone who’s constantly whining that his/her life sucks, constantly updating statuses about how “men suck” or airing out ALL their dirty laundry for people to see.

Now, the irony in all of this is that these misguided, overly emotional people who let their Facebook acquaintances know every single mundane part of their day-to-day lives is that they’ll actually have the audacity to put statuses up about “People needa stay the fuck outta my business.” Now how, pray tell, do you expect anyone to not be in your business when you’re seemingly trolling for people’s sympathies, people’s reactions, and people’s attention? Hey, I get it – everyone deserves a pass from time to time and I’m willing to give you that pass on a bad day. But you, Miss “My boyfriend’s been cheating on me for 2 months with my best friend but I won’t leave him because I’ll be lonely WTF OMG” are clustering my news feed with your incessant nagging, your continuous emotional outbursts, and inane rants. Lemme make a suggestion to you – shut up, get a puppy, have a Coke and a smile and schedule a meet-and-greet with a mental health provider.

I truly understand how good it feels to let out a verbal scream (as you’re currently engrossed in), but pause for the cause. Before you click that Post/Submit button, please read what you’ve written. Make entirely sure that you’re comfortable letting a gang of people you’ve probably never met judge your life based on that status. If you’re good with looking borderline insane because of your unrelenting bitchfest, by all means, do you, folks. I know I’m erring on the side of the females on this, but fellas – I hold you to a little bit of a higher standard (for whatever reason), and you…oh you dudes tend to disappoint. Think of all the time spent bitching to a computer screen when you could actually be fixing whatever issue has caused you to fingerblast your keyboard to oblivion.

Aiight, now that I’m done with my rant, I implore you – think before you tweet, think before you post, and most of all – get a grip on your real life.