Entering the Friend Zone

A lotta people every day are perpetually stuck in the closest relationships of their lives, albeit so far from where they wanna be. This invisible box of emotions contain them, yet it’s vastly inescapeable. Everyone, at one time or another, has been relegated to the relationship minor leagues – the Friend Zone. What’s worse than wanting so badly to be with someone, but they sayyy you’re just a friendddd (outta context Biz Markie voice)? Dudes and females are out there having platonic slumber parties with the girl feeling comfortable and the dude feeling himself (pause).

Some dudes are just “too nice”, “too sweet”, “cute, but not my type”. These phrases are ether to the dude who’s in love with his best friend. But the friend zone? Well, that’s just an equal opportunity safe haven for guys and girls that have been stuck in a spot because the one they’re lusting over, just doesn’t “want anything to come between our friendship.” Well, there are a few ways to break outta that friend zone, as I’ll let you know all about:

  • Try your hand at the game of life: If being with the person you’re dedicating all of your time to is that important and potentially life-altering, sometimes you needa just lay it all out there. If you tell him/her your innermost feelings and they’re unrequited, you can back down and forever be doomed to toil in the FZ. If not, you can walk away. Pain is inevitable, but you can set your sights elsewhere.
  • SIMP MOVE:  If you can’t bear the idea of being shot down to your face, or via text/email/Facebook, you can throw it all the way back to the grade school days where you enlist the help of someone else to talk you up to your crush. This approach, however, means tucking that dick between your legs and having someone else do your dirt.
  • Go for the gold:Some people stuck in the FZ haven’t always just been stuck looking at their crush. Sometimes, they’ve hooked up in the past. That has some groundwork already done, but if you never made a move before, you can always try that. But fellas – if she stiff-arms you and scampers 30 yards down the sideline, well, add that to your lowlight tape and submit to ESPN.
  • Fight the feeling: Some males just lack balls, plain and simple. If they hate the FZ, but don’t wanna lose the relationship in its current state, keep quiet. Something’s better than nothing in this approach.

I know some people out in the world right now are hopelessly fawning for a friend of theirs and have not the slightest clue how to go after the object of their desires. BUT if you’re taking relationship advice from me, shit…there’s a chance that you’re past that point of no return anyways. Either way, take these gems and craft your attack plan. Closed mouths don’t get fed.

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