As I find myself stumbling thru Facebook and Twitter, I’ve become increasingly familiar, albeit frightened, by the perils of clicking a profile picture and having dreams shattered by a horrific image. There’s a strikingly awkward moment when you see the thumbnail, then dive into enlarging the picture and wish you never clicked that shit. Curiosity killing the cat at its finest.

All too often do people go thru their creep routine, slithering thru wall posts and friends lists in a concerted effort to find a diamond in the rough. Sad to say, but normally, there’s only roughness – no diamond in sight. Have you ever checked a profile pic, just to scramble to X outta Facebook in its entirety and swear up and down to yourself that you never burned that image into your retinas? No? Aiight then, me neither.

I hate to say it, but some people would be much better off if their faces were the size they are in their profile pictures. Yes, I know it’s probably perceived as rude or an asshole comment, but I’m saying exactly what you think, so please spare me your high and mightiness. I know the females are absolutely guilty of that and the guys? Well, the guys might not even care. If your profile picture is of you in a thong or any level of undress, we have no mutual friends, and your friends ALL start with the letter “A”, I’m sprinting my mouse down to Block and letting you burn to virtual death in anonymity. I WILL NOT BE TRICKED!

That said, I’m right here.