Slang That Needs to Die

People love slang and phrases once they hit the street. But once your parents start using it or once it has more mileage on it than that chick everyone ran thru in high school, yeah, you needa take it behind the shed and put it outta its misery. Here’s a short list of dead phrases walking:

  • “So bomb”. Sorry, I forgot it was still ’99 and people still feared Y2K.
  • Any word + “ski”. Jesus, I swear my head will explode if I hear “going to workski” again. If you say “so bombski”, I’m officially petitioning for people to throw rocks at you.
  • “That. Shit. Cray”. Thank you Jay and Ye for giving suburbanites new shit to overuse and use completely outta context.
  • “Windows to the walls”. Oh hey, Lil Jon. Thanks to you and your absolute struggle beard, gold fronts, and dreads, people are still using this shit…aww, skeet skeet.
  • “Bad bitch”. I useta enjoy this term…until self-proclaimed “bad bitches” brought its value down, much like the dollar itself.
  • “Going HAM”.  Ahh, yet another Jay and Ye catchphrase that needs to go. Most of the people using it go canned Spam. Stop it.
  • “(Like a) Boss/Bawse”. Knock it off, you fucking Dollar Tree/K-Mart Rick Ross fans. This shit needs to end. Today.
  • “Outty 5000/Audi 5000”. Heard it the other day and damn near fell over. Not everything from the 80s can/should be retroed and brought back.
  • “Swag”. Alright, people. You already know my feelings on this particular one. I’m really not interested in hearing your side of the debate. Dead it.

One phrase on life support, with my fingers lightly caressing the plug: “Ballinnnn” – from Jim Jones, king of the adlibs…from a song from 2006. Five years ago, everyone and their mother was “ballinnnn”. From the ones that shopped at Nordstroms and boutiques, to the lay-away masters at TJ Maxx. We don’t mourn death – we celebrate life!

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