Maybe it’s just me, but there’s one thing that I can’t be involved in, aside from murder, rape, or racism – awkward conversation. That’s an odd way to group it in, but awkward, forced conversation absolutely sucks the soul outta my day. Whether it’s a co-worker, an acquaintance, significant other, or family member, I’d rather sit there silently and mull over my thoughts than be goaded into making pointless small talk that will inevitably end in an even more uncomfortable silence.

Don’t get me wrong, I consider myself a well-equipped conversationalist that can hold my own n regards to most topics. But all that “wow, it’s a cold one out there”, “how was your weekend?” or even worse, being sucked into a conversation with others that you wouldn’t ordinarily jump into – yeah, that shit needs to go.

Where I work, it’s very diverse.  There are a lotta different types of folks from all walks of life, with differing perspectives, in different social classes and tax brackets, and ranging from recent college grads (age-wise) up to folks over 65 who just didn’t wanna retire. Don’t get it fucked up – I have no ill will or vendettas against any co-workers, I just prefer to come in, do my bit, and once 5 PM hits, I’m outta there. I talk to my co-workers to a point, without injecting too much of my personal life into conversation, and keep shit cordial. Every so often tho, there’s the one person that wants to know the ins and outs of your outta work life and they make strenuous attempts to coerce that info from you. Trust me, we can chop it up about work shit, and superficial interests, but allowing you into my post-5 PM life? Nah, that’s my comfort zone, not yours.

There have been many a morning in the elevator at work where I sip my coffee, make no eye contact, and feel the eyes burning thru me. There have been attempts to initiate conversation from fellow elevator inhabitants, but I pay them no mind and carry about my business. [Oh, and if I held the door for you first thing in the morning and didn’t hear an utterance of gratuity, do NOT expect me to continue my chivalrous efforts and/or engage in any type of friendly banter. You’re forever black marked.]

Sometimes silence isn’t awkward at all. It’s golden.