Disgrace in the Water

So, by now, you’ve clearly heard about the unfortunately pussy boat captain that caused a 21st century Titanic situation about a week ago. Francesco Schettino, the skipper/captain/absurdly whiny deserter of the cruise vessel valued at over $470 million (by most accounts), decided to take a little detour in the water to show off the ship to his friends who were stationed on an island a bit off course.

Well, your vanity (and overly vaginal tendencies) caused the boat to scrape against a reef, thus causing damage and allowing it to take on water. That’s on you for being stupid, arrogant, and FRONTING LIKE YOU OWN THE SHIT. That’s like driving around in a Bugatti, knowing damn well that anyone seeing you in it KNOWS it’s not yours. On top of that, dude – bailing on a nearly half billion dollar vessel, causing the good folks on the cruise to fight for their own lives without guidance from their “captain”,  having your life threatened by the Italian Coast Guard, and answering their demands all while sounding like a 5 year old that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? Fuckouttahere, Schettino. On top of that, you actually had the audacity to hail a cab to go back to your place? What part of the game is that?

The body count on lives lost due to your complete fuckery now stands at 11, with 25 still missing. That’s unfathomable that you could just slink away like people weren’t gonna die. Oh, on top of the loss of lives, which is indefensible, this crash will inevitably cause the cruise industry (mainly Costa Concordia’s parent company, Carnival Cruise Lines) an estimated $85 – 130 million in damages and potential lawsuits.

So lemme ask you this, Schettino – are you more or less of a responsibility-shunning, morally deficient,  scared-as-shit, flunky, pussy boat captain than you were 2 months ago, or did you just act outta concern for yourself because you couldn’t give less of a fuck about the 4200 other passengers on the cruise? No need to rush answering tho. I’m sure you’ll have more than enough time to stand up for yourself and cry some more when the Vincenzos and Giuseppes of the Italian prisons fill you up like a cannoli.



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