Newly Unemployed NFLers

Here’s a compiled list of yesterday’s villains, whom will most likely wake up without a job this morning after collapsing under the pressure of their conference championship games:

  • Billy Cundiff – K, Baltimore Ravens: Ohhhh, Billy. You had a chance to tie it up with the Pats and send the AFC Championship Game into OT…but couldn’t. Eerily reminiscent of Ray Finkle’s infamous shank in Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, it was absolutely a swing and a miss yesterday, chief. [ Future Employment Prospects Include: Janitor at Baltimore City Public School system; throwing knives target at Baltimore City and Prince George County circuses.]

  • Kyle Williams – KR/PR, San Francisco 49ers: Kyle, come on, son. When you’re not quite good enough to be a wide-out because of hands or route running, you’re usually a DB. But when you can’t cover, you can’t be a DB, but you’re fast as your first time in bed with a chick – you end up a return guy. When you let a kick hit you, setting up prime position for the Giants, THEN fumble a return a few moments later tho? You end up pink slipped before you even hit the shower after the game. I know the Bay Area’s up in arms (and fully armed), so it wouldn’t surprise me if Williams’ is threatened repeated, as the 49ers were a favorite in this game. [ Future Employment Prospects: Cashier at 7-11/In-N-Out Burger/Jack in The Box; short-term pizza delivery guy (fired after 2 dropped orders)]

  • Lee Evans, WR, Baltimore Ravens: First and foremost – great D by Sterling Moore. Other than that? Awful hands, no concentration, and no Super Bowl for the Ravens. Flacco’s not much of a QB, outside of the whole “game manager” title that he despises, but earned. But how are you supposed to be considered an elite quarterback when you have dudes like Lee Evans that drop game-winning TD passes? I mean, ball in the hands, two feet down, a light slap by Moore, and a drop. If the Wire didn’t portray how Baltimore ALREADY looks, then I’d imagine it’s exactly like Bodymore, Murdaland would look after the Ravens lost last night. [ Future Employment Prospects: the dude at the Chinese joint that makes egg drop soup; T-Mobile Tech Support, specializing in dropped signals/calls. ]
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