Do Sneakers Define Your Relationship?

Here’s an interesting little concept – the condition of a man’s sneakers are directly correlated to the way he treats his partner in a relationship. Crazy, right? But this shit is irrefutably true.

I refuse to walk around with sneakers looking like I’ve been mowing the lawn or running around since the day I pulled em outta the box. There’s something subconscious about wearing a new pair of kicks – the silent confidence; the appeal of the leather/tweed/canvas/patent leather; the subtlety in the design of the sneaker itself; the willingness to make sure that those sleds look absolutely flawless. That said, this is why there’s an intertwined attention to detail for both sneakers and relationships.

I feel that men who pay little to no attention to the condition of their sneakers lack the self-confidence and self-respect and/or willingness to put a concerted effort into the maintenance of their relationships. Dudes who are willing to slide their sneakers off and inspect them for scuffs and discoloration, including dirt, are more likely to pay attention to the condition of their relationships – mainly proper evaluation of how your girl’s feeling or what she’s concerned with. Light dirt on the heel of a sneaker is easily washed away, but takes a little effort. Well, so does assuaging your upset or misunderstood girlfriend’s feelings.

Fellas, I cannot stress this shit enough – white on white sneakers get dirty and beat to shit quickly. You really needa focus on not banging toes on concrete, avoiding mud and all the hazards that are out there, looming in the recesses of the concrete, waiting to dirty up the kicks. Crazy that the mud and concrete are just metaphors for sidelined hoes/jumpoffs that will do whatever they can to fuck with your relationship. Those clean sneakers you got on, although I dunno too many rocking the coke whites nowadays, are (dun dun dun), your relationship. Pay attention – the deeper the dirt or scuff, the tougher it is to clean up. I’d hate to see you stop fucking with a dope pair because you dirtied em up and refused to fix that.

The same care, regard, and respect for your sneakers should be applied to your relationship, no questions asked. Clean Nikes are always a good, good look. The busted up, hole in the bottom, strapped with duct tape, grass stained abominations are as noticeable and respect-devoid as the relationships of the dudes that step outta the house looking like last week’s garbage.

I know hundreds, if not thousands, of females that would agree with these sentiments. You don’t think women are genetically predisposed to initial judgments based on physical appearance and style? Oh…you don’t? Huh, well, you probably have one pair of the filthiest, grimiest kicks tied super-tight and screaming for a cleaning. If you don’t pay attention to them, they’ll end up in the trash…like your whole relationship.

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