Beauty Fades, but Plastic is Forever

Ok, so yesterday, I covered my thoughts on fake tits and discussions ensued. That’s only one type of cosmetic surgery. Enter Joan Rivers, the 78 year old comedienne (is she?) and TV host/celeb – this lady’s recently admitted to having not one surgery, or a handful…but 739 surgical procedures!

A direct quote from the plasticized, mummified Rivers – “Every weekend I just go in and I do something new. I get a 10th one free. It’s a little like coffee, you just keep going.” Word. Now, if I was gonna get addicted to something, it’d probably be caffeine. Or nicotine. But in her attempts to maintain that “timeless” (read: stuck in time) look, she’s literally become addicted to surgeries.

See, I thought the Mike Jackson nose ordeal was horrifying. Mike’s nose went from the shape of a bell pepper to the width of a woodpecker (pause, no Chris Hansen) beak. Joan’s gone from skin and bone to saline and botox. The scariest thing to me is that when she inevitably passes away, she won’t be biodegradable in the least.

Fuck it, if you got money, gotta spend it. Can’t take that to the casket with you, but you can absolutely take millions worth of surgical procedures…

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