There’s an excellent chance this shit is gonna sound crazy coming from such an outspoken, seemingly outlandish individual such as myself – subtlety in a wardrobe is a must. Lemme give you a moment to regroup, pick your jaw off the floor, or wipe down your screen from whatever drink you spit all over it. When I speak of being subtle, some of you just aren’t gonna understand, so I’ll break it down – there’s nothing more obnoxious that the people who are so label-obsessed that they only cop items that have logos or branding plastered on them. Being a walking billboard that’s not getting royalty checks or sponsoring is just an attempt at drawing undue attention to yourself.
Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely a lane for folks to wear one heavily branded piece, allowing it to pop while wearing other subdued pieces will inevitably work out in your favor. For example, wearing a pair of True Religions with the unmistakable horseshoe on the pocket is straight. But wearing a pair of Trues with matching hoodie and hat is akin to a fat kid standing on the lip of a pool, dangling his/her little sausage toes over that ledge, destined to fall in and get wet. Mixing and matching? That right there gets results.
I’m a self-professed Polo head – socks, briefs, jeans, Polo shirts, tees, hats, etc., I just dig all that comes along with it. But – huge but – unless you live the Lo-Life, there’s really no reason that you should be completely dipped head-to-toe in one specifically branded fashion. Mix and match – take your Big Pony (blah) shirt and pair it with something subtly dope, like the revised Levi line, and a pair of dope kicks. Ahh, now you can accessorize with a hat, watch, chain, whatever. Just don’t go overboard. What’s “overboard” in my eyes you might ask (or probably didn’t)? Looking like you’re trying entirely too hard. Whoa, crazy concept, right? YES! You can look like you’re doing your damnedest to put a fit together. Know what happens when you look like that? You don’t look “good”, you look manufactured.
I really needa start charging for laying shit out for the masses to live by, but that’s neither here nor there. The point I’m making is too much heat combined is gonna make you look a hot mess. Ladies, please fold those Juicy or Pink sweats and put em back in the dresser for the time being. You got the hoodie with “LOVE PINK” emblazoned on it, sequined up and all that. Ask yourself – “Is it entirely necessary that I have it plastered on my ass too?” If that’s a question you gotta ask, then yeah, put it away for another day. From my experience, dudes who play ball dipped out in Jordan gear usually can’t play, they just play the part. Looking good money and BEING good money are two different things. Your willingness to recognize and accept those jewels of wisdom are what will set you apart.
Whether or not you choose to listen, my friends, is entirely up to you. For those that like summaries, here’s a checklist:
- Subtlety is key. One branded piece works infinitely better than a bunch of matching (or clashing) evident logos/branding.
- Accessorizing is next to Godliness (and cleanliness, by association). Under the radar jeans and fire kicks > heavily branded jeans and dirty sneakers. Every. Single. Time.
- Let your wardrobe do the talking for you, but tailor it to your personality. All flash and no bang will leave you in a confused, lonely state…without a chance to bang.
- Be yourself. Don’t swandive into whatever the hottest new trend is. Without comfort, you come off like a dickhead that spent entirely too much time looking like a mess.
Just remember, dudes shouldn’t wear sequins/bedazzled shit. If you’re a dude that’s still riding that Ed Hardly wave, you’re probably the type to wear chancletas and jeans – not a good look.