Too Early For This

As I sit here on the Monday following St. Patty’s Day, tryna clear the cobwebs from my head and maintain a proper level of consciousness, I click into the Patriot Ledger site and the first thing I see is the poll above. I nearly drop my black coffee with a Turbo shot (liquid cocaine for the employed) – how is this shit even a debate? I’m struggling to keep my eyes open and NOW I hafta ponder whether or not the legalized sale of past-its-prime cooter is gonna stop scumbags from either kidnapping kids or importing sex slaves from overseas. What.The. Fuck?

Maybe it’s just me, but this isn’t really even a debate. No – it’s not gonna cut down on the importation of sexualized women and kids, held against their will. But more importantly than that, who in this day and age is still buying pussy? You might hafta be the loneliest, saddest, anti-social, and awkward person to throw cash directly at someone for sex. I dunno, maybe that’s how I see it, but if I ever heard of someone I’m acquainted with throwing $50 – 150 at a chick in order to get some loving, I’m immediately crossing you off the shrinking list of people I’d prefer to be around.

Obviously, the sex trade is a hot commodity, especially in eastern Europe where it’s not exactly “legalized”, but it’s monitored and more or less acknowledged, but blind eyes are turned in the red light districts of Amsterdam. Outside of that, the Philippines and Thailand have their own underground sex slave/trade that they keep a low level view of. Hong Kong, too.
I guess what I’m really getting at is prostitution is the world’s oldest profession – even Jesus kept Mary Magdalene close to him and she was the first recorded whore. Then again, some girls nowadays are going and spreading thighs for anyone and not looking for any type of reimbursement for their services. Am I against prostitution? Nah, because I honestly don’t have any vested interest in how these women decide to spend their lives and/or how much tread’s left on the tires, if you dig it. Fact of the matter is sex literally and figuratively sells. Whether women use sex appeal in pictures to sell a product or in back alleys, parks, etc., it’s however they choose to use it.

That being said, if you’re a hooker and you’re reading this – don’t ever try to flag me down, offer me shit. Only thing you’ll get outta me is a look of disgust and maybe a breath mint. Or some Purell. Hoing’s a dirty business…


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