Wet Blankets (Not the Sexy Kind)


Please: If the time ever comes that I’m so completely miserable with my own self that I attempt to drag down those around me, lemme know. I’d gladly Linda Lovelace a .45 to apologize for my actions.

Every group of people has that one clinger-on; the one that always has some absurdly dramatic (never REALLY needs to be), outta nowhere bullshit that they’ll inevitably project, in an attempt to weigh down those in their circle to their own level of misery. Doesn’t necessarily mean that person, who I’ll refer to less affectionately as the Soul Sucker, is all bad. Just means they really needa look into a therapy session, a combo of Prozac and weed, and a spot of solitude for them to work on better themselves.

I get it, you’re reading this and saying, “Ant’s really on some shit today” or “What an asshole, who the fuck…” – lemme stop you there. If you can’t pinpoint ONE person that you’ve known that will darken the best day out with tales of woe,  desperation and fuckery, guess what – YOU’RE THAT PERSON! Granted, these folks still are close to us for a reason, but their impenetrable fortress of gloom and despair is a drain on our own mental health.

Life’s a bitch. It’s a well-known fact, but it’s much more than that. People, by and large, are not the things that they have. People should be judged on the mark they leave on society, on their families, on their friends. Content and character say a lot about people, because you’re inexplicably judged on the snapshots of moments that others have when they see you. Example – you could be the purest, sweetest, most virginal girl on Earth, but if the one time I see you is at a bar, slurring/stumbling/slobbing and being generally obnoxious – BANG, there’s how I’ll perceive you to be. People have their bad moments and they’re forgiven once in a while. When every day is something negative, something ugly, something so completely self-centric…there’s a huge fucking issue, sweetheart, and it’s alllll you.

What can I say? If you have this tear-spouting, whiny, “Why meeee?” type that’s woven into the fabric of your group, you have a tough road ahead unless you tailor things, so to keep with the idea. You can either cut attempt to cover up the spot, but that club soda counseling session might only disturb things more. Stick with me – Accessorize. Add a little flash to the group to even things out, take some attention off your blemish. This can backfire as well, as more attention can be drawn to the entire situation. Maybe that’s not the best. Worst case scenario? The spot just won’t clean up, huh? Shit, maybe you just trash the shirt. Wasn’t the right fit anyways.


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