Bare Chest Requests

I’ve said it on more than one occasion and sadly enough, it bears repeating – fellas, if you have some type of inclination to link with me on social media, put some fucking fabric on, b.

It’s an all too common theme of season’s changing and testosterone-filled dudes hovering over the “add friend” or “follow” link and clicking aimlessly sans shirt. Come on, son – what business is a dude in that baring his chest before requesting another dude is common practice? I’m 94% skeeved the fuck out when I get a request, check the profile picture and it’s a baby. I’m 99.726% likely to ignore the shit outta you if you’re toplessly tryna make a connection tho.

Tell me why I wanna be associated with some weirdo with this nipples prominently on display in a thumbnail? Be serious – what type of shit does that say about me, adding you to the masses of people that I come across on a day-to-day basis, and I gotta see shirtless dudes on my newsfeed. Fuck I look like? Chippendales? Fuckouttahere with that grade-A weirdo shit. I’m a grown ass man who’s not looking to be befriended by characters who make shit awkward, posing in pictures without a modicum of proper presentation.

What dude sits at a computer, topless, tryna add dudes to his circle? No homo…but quite, at the same time. If you have any aspirations to link with me for whatever reason, make gottdamn sure you dress for the occasion. Sun’s out, guns out is cool for the summer. Not social media, and damn sure you have no place in my life – electronic or otherwise. Smarten up.

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