Superficial or Realistic?

Society nowadays is probably more superficial than we have been over the past few decades. What’s more defining about a person than their outward appearance? The clothes we wear, our own personal style, our charisma, facial symmetry, body types, etc. are all pervasive qualities that are undeniably the gateway to what people are initially attracted to. How many women have you talked to that absolutely love the bulky, muscle-bound gym nuts, equipped with huge arms, chiseled chest and washboard abs? How many dudes drool at a perfectly round ass, ample chest, and hair and nails? At what costs are we willing to ignore personality shortcomings or incongruity to say that you bagged the most handsome dude or the most gorgeous chick? There’s gotta be some substance that keeps us dedicated or, at the least, interested, right?

No matter where you are, who you are, what you’re doing – personal care and presentation are the hook to the line of attracting a potential mate. Granted, the majority of folks (male and female alike) are so quick to say, “Yeah, looks matter, but that’s not ALL that matters.” Whether they say this as an attempt to make themselves look slightly deeper than a kiddie pool or if they genuinely feel that way varies from person to person, but from my experience, looks aren’t keeping people together. There’s gotta be a personality trait that appeals to a potential mate, that’ll help them look past the days when the opposite sex isn’t exactly looking in tip-top physical condition.

Sense of humor and the ability to turn a frustrating situation into something that can make your partner crack a smile (when appropriate) ranks up near the top of the list, for me at least. I’m reasonably sure I’m not the only one, but I’ll leave that for you to decide. Other than that, a sense of caring and the ability to be an emotional stable beacon of support for your significant other is a hugely important quality, especially when planning for the long term. Along with that is the potential for the partner to be a willing, able, and excellent parent in the event of children coming along.

Some ladies like bad boys, assholes, jerks, whatever you wanna call them. Others, mostly the dudes with the less than enviable personality traits tend to refer to themselves as “alpha males”. These are the dudes that are rude, obnoxious, overbearing, and aspire to assert themselves as A1 quality, top-of-the-line fellas who can pull chicks at the drop of a dime, and couldn’t care less about their female counterpart’s feelings. These are the dudes who generally project a sense of entitlement, an air of dominance, mostly to make up for…ahem…some shortcomings.  The females that fall head over heels once their heels are over head tend to end up longing for something more fulfilling than what they’re receiving.

There are a lotta hardline boundaries that people will set for themselves – no smoking, no boozebags, no one with a record of dealing with the boys in blue, etc. But what about the personality traits that we aren’t willing to compromise? Can we occasionally overlook some personal flaws that shouldn’t always matter to us or are we bound to repeat ourselves throughout each and every relationship that we get involved with? There’s gotta be a point where enough is enough, I’m sure. Some things can be changed, but other things aren’t compromised because people don’t wanna change. Are those who aren’t willing to change destined to deal with the same bullshit that caused the demise of their past relationships? Personal growth is essential in all aspects of life – shouldn’t we decide what’s good for us and tailor those traits to each relationship?

One thought on “Superficial or Realistic?

  1. Wow u nailed this one!! So true!! Maybe if people weren’t so DTF at first meeting, maybe men and women would work harder at being better people. Goes for the old saying “Why buy the cow, when u can get the milk for free”


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