Punch Yourself in the Mouth

For the sake of argument, let’s keep things 100% real and not bullshit each other – every group of people, every circle of friends, has that one person who can’t help but slyly throw shade to others in the group. Sometimes it’s all in good humor. Sometimes it’s a slight because of jealousy. Other times, it’s blatantly done in an attempt to come up on something that someone else has. When the grass is cut, the snakes will show…

There are varying levels of fuckery, as far as dealing with cohorts, but it’s inevitably how you DEAL with the situation that solidifies whether or not you’re a fucking doormat or if people won’t overstep their boundaries again. For instance:

  • Smart remarks and light prodding are met with reasonable reactions and usually a quick retort with some wittiness and truth behind it will quell the uprising of some slick shit.  If you try to get over on me because of some dumb, insignificant mishap – I already know where to attack back. Playful snaps and jabs are acceptable, but remember – if you can’t take it, don’t give it. Capisci?
  • Talking about you to one of your exes – nah, chill. Please tell WHY one of your “good friends” is off talking to someone that you were romantically inclined towards at some point? There’s a level of acceptability, an air of respect, and the knowledge that exes are, by and large, off limits (unless otherwise explicitly stated). This rule/level of fuckery doesn’t necessarily correlate to a friend trying to pipe down an old jumpoff. Jumpoffs are unclaimed. If you claim your jumpoff, you’re a grade A goon and deserve to have your friends Amtrak the aforementioned plaything.
  • IF, if, if, one of your associates ever comes remotely close to flirting with OR hooking up with your current flame, violence is not an acceptable response. I don’t advocate violent reactions in regards to relationships (only family-related issues), so if you catch on to what’s going on, the immediate response should be to cut off all ties to both parties. Fellas, your girl’s flirting with your boy? Cool, let em know that it’s more than fine to disrespect that way. You, being cool, calm, and collected, will graciously air out all things involved with them – habits, histories, conquests, personal truths and admissions. Emotional scarring doesn’t really heal quite as quickly as physical bumps and bruises, so feel free to make a lasting impression.

Now, a lotta folks may find that last bullet point immature, self-centered and vengeful, BUT if you’ve spent time and effort on a creeping partner, then you obviously can reflect on the feelings of betrayal, right? Compound that with the fact that your significant other is doing things to your closest confidant, seemingly behind your back. Shit’s real life now, right? I bet you it brought a flood of blood rushing up the back of your neck, didn’t it?

How you do aptly ensure that this type of shit never happens to you? Make gottdamn sure that you know the quality of people you associate yourself with. People with hidden agendas are never as slick or hidden as they seem. When they step outta line, you expose them for the two-faced fuckers they are and let God sort out the destruction.

Oh, your girl may or may not have lent her mouth to a number of dudes you know? Now you wanna kiss her, tell her you love her, attempt to save her smut ass, while you’re on your Captain Save-a-Ho shit? Expect disappointment.

Ladies, your man gets off on knowing that you had shit relationships before and feels like that’s an easy way to cheat on you without repercussion? You can play that game right back OR you can tell dude to scram and save face a bit. Deal? Deal.

Unless you and the people you’re associating yourself with have each other’s collective best interests in mind, there’s gonna be that one slithering, slimy, gritty, grimy, shitty, sly motherfucker that wants to eat off your plate when you turn your head for the briefest of moments. Reading people and knowing their intentions is an acquired skill. Know how it’s acquired? By going thru the shit to begin with, learning to pinpoint the actions and reactions of people in similar situations, and dealing with all the shit accordingly.
Getting tricked and betrayed is a feeling far worse than a punch in the face, a kick in the stomach, knee to the balls – it’s a feeling that comes from letting someone close to you do something that you thought they weren’t even capable of doing. Cutting that tie to them might be equally as strong a feeling, however, sometimes you just needa find a way to replicate that feeling for them, multiplied by pain and anger, just to get your point driven thru their thick, plotting, self-serving skulls. Fuck em tho – you’re better for the experience and they’re worse for the wear.




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